Mind of the Uchiha
by Vitreux
Summary: ＊I'M NOT DEAD! Sorry for the long wait!＊ Itachi the fairy gave Sasuke an ability. The ability to speak what's ever on your mind...and plus, you can't lie. Nope. You can only say the truth. Sasuke OOCness ahead! Chaos warning! Chaper three UP!
1. How it Began

**Mind of the Uchiha**

By Vitreux

**Standard Disclaimers Apply. Author's notes at the end.**

**Chapter One**

How it Began

   "Ohayo Sasuke-kun!" Sakura's voice rang out clearly on a cool summer morning. She ran to the bridge where Sasuke stood leaning against the railing, with an expressionless face as usual. She came beside him and smiled, "Nice weather today, isn't it?"

   He looked up and reached out a hand to block the sunlight. Furrowing his brow, he thought the sun was too hot.

   "Ne Sasuke-kun?" she tilted her head and met his eyes.

   "What?"

   "After the training, will you go out with me?" she asked hopefully.

   "No thanks." his answer was expected, but Sakura still thought maybe there was some kind of hope. Her shoulders slumped. She was about to say something again when a loud familiar voice interrupted.

   "Sakura-chaaaaan!!"

   Sasuke gave a grunt. So much for a quiet morning.

   "Ohayo Naruto!" Sakura greeted as Naruto came into view.

   "Ohayo Sakura-chan!"

   "Be quiet dobe. Some people are still sleeping, you know." Sasuke gave him a look.

   "What's with the gloomy face in the morning? Don't you know that by keeping a happy face helps you stay healthy?" Naruto jumped beside Sasuke and studied his face.

   "Stop staring at me like that."

   Naruto grinned and pointed to his brows. "I bet with all that frowning going around is going to get you a lot of wrinkles! Haha! Wrinkle Sasuke! Beware!!"

   "Shut up you idiot!"

   "Oh yeah?! Wanna fight?! I've been waiting for this for a long time-"

   "Naruto! Stop that!" Sakura stood between the two. "Sasuke-kun is fine the way he is! And he won't get any wrinkles," she folded her arms.

   "How do you know?" Naruto asked suspiciously.

   "Well, because… erm…" she searched through her mind with an excuse.

   "See even Sakura-chan can't think of anything! I feel so sorry for you Sasuke, having wrinkles for the rest of your life must be hard." He patted his back sympathetically.

   "Stop that!" he snatched Naruto's hand away. "I don't need your sympathy! And why are we even having this discussion? About my wrinkles?"

   "Iie, come to think of it, it IS a serious problem." Sakura stared at his brows. "Naruto's right! You need to loosen up more!"

   Sasuke grunted again and turned away from them, walking down the bridge. _This is just wrong…_

   "Hey where are you going?" came Naruto's question.

   _Away from you._ Sasuke put his hands in his pockets and continued on walking.

   "Demo Kakashi-sensei isn't here yet! Sasuke-kun!"

   _UGH! This is so annoying! Why are they bouncy so early in the morning? Why can't that sensei just arrive on time for once? Why is the sun so hot? What's wrong with my wrinkles? Why-_

   "Sasuke-kun watch out!!"

   Before the black-eyed boy could do anything he felt something hard hit him squarely on the face, and all he remembered was a blur of something pink and yellow running toward him before he hit the ground.

***

   _Sasuke__! Sasuke…_

   _Who's calling me?_ Sasuke rubbed his head and got up, a bit dazed._ Where am I?_

   _My dear, sweet idiot…_

   He turned toward the source of the voice and gaped. _Whoa!! Is that YOU Itachi?!_

   A fairy. That was what he saw. With a face that looked just like his brother.

   _This must be a dream… yeah… what's going on?_

_   This is not a dream my foolish brother… I've came to help you._ Before Itachi could continue, Sasuke covered his mouth to stifle a silent laugh.

   _Tell me that… tell me that you're actually a FAIRY? You know, those wings-flopping freaks that appear in fairytales?_

   Itachi did not look pleased.

   _All right, all right. Fine. What do you want?_

   Itachi the fairy sighed. _Naruto__ and Sakura are right. You're always frowning. You need to open up more. I've came to help them grant their wishes._

   _What? So you knew them already? And what the hell are you talking about?_

_   Hush, sweet brother._ Saskue cringed at the fairy's voice. He was adding extra and unnecessary endearments, for Christ's sake!

   _Soon you'll find out what I mean… soon…_

_   Matte! HEY! I'm not through with you!_ Before Sasuke could yell another curse at the disappearing fairy, a blinding light took over his senses and familiar voices came.

***

   "He's waking up!"

   Opening his eyelids, Sasuke regained consciousness and gave a groan of suffering. "Damn that hurts a lot…"

   "Sasuke-kun? Tell me you're all right!" that must had been Sakura.

   He sat up from the ground and saw three faces staring at him.

   "Sasuke, how are you feeling?"

   "Kakashi-sensei?" Sasuke blinked and shook his head. "I'm fine."

   "Sasuke-kun do you need anything? Are you hurt?" Sakura placed a hand over his before a soft shade of pink crept onto his face.

   _I shouldn't let them worry. It was only a bump. But her hands… they're…_ "Your hands are so soft… eh?!" _What the hell?!_

   Both Sasuke and Sakura deepened their blushes.

   "Sou… sou desu ka?" the pink-haired girl asked shyly.

   "Yeah, you're the smartest in our team, plus responsible, delicate… and you have a great rack."

   Their eyes bulged. Not to mention Sasuke himself was the most surprised one. He panicked. _What's going on?! It's like I can't lie!!_

   "What the hell?!" he blurted.

   With a fuming expression Naruto pointed, "What's the matter with you Sasuke? And you don't say that to MY Sakura-chan!"

   "She's not yours you ramen freak. Her ass is mine."

   Sasuke covered his mouth and stared at them in terror. Naruto with a horrified expression, Kakashi-sensei raising his eyebrow behind that mask, and a wide eyed Sakura wobbling back and forth with a fainting look on her face.

   _Shit! What's happening to me?! I really can't lie!_

   "You… you…" Naruto held up a fist. Sasuke did the only thing he thought about that time and ran. Past Team 7, down the bridge, deeper into the village. People threw weird looks at him while he dashed from pure embarrassment. He just… he just said all those things to Sakura! In front of his _team_!

   "What the hell are you looking at?! YES I do have a problem! Do you mind?!" he shouted to no one in particular and covered his mouth in shock.

   Shutting his eyes, he jumped up to a rooftop and jumped on another again.

**You HAVE to tell me what you think! Leave me a review! A suggestion! Anything!! I hope you all enjoyed it, since I'm not so good at the humor stuff… it's only my second attempt on Naruto fanfics! A bit messed up = =? I don't know if I'm going to continue or not… leaves up to you guys! Thanks for reading by the way! Review!!!**


	2. The Secret

**Mind of the Uchiha**

By Vitreux

**Standard Disclaimers Apply.**

**I am truly thankful for all the reviews!! ^___^**

**Chapter Two**

The Secret

   Sasuke sat on a large rock with his chin supporting on his palm, staring straight in front with a bored expression. It had been a while- two hours thirty-three minutes and forty-one seconds to be exact. An irritated sigh escaped his lips as his hand went limp on his lap.

   "What am I suppose to do?" he asked himself. "Avoid human contact until this craziness is over? What if it never goes away?" his eyes widened. "I'll become a hermit!"

   A cool wave of wind suddenly brushed over his unmoving body. He sighed again.

   Then, a shuffling noise behind him shook him out of his reverie. Head turning in alarm, he swiftly jumped down from the rock and held out a kunai.

   "Who's there?" he hissed.

   A figure appeared behind the bushes. It was Naruto.

   "You." Sasuke glared.

   "Yeah. Me. What's your problem?" Naruto folded his arms and declared. "I don't know why you said all those things to Sakura-chan back on the bridge, but you sure as hell scared her!"

   Sasuke rolled his eyes. Well, obviously! He had managed to scare himself with that terrible straight-forward mouth, how could he not scare Sakura?

   "You don't know anything." Sasuke put his hands in his pockets and spat.

   "Well with that stupid I'm-the-mighty-Sasuke attitude of yours it's not like anything can help!"

   He raised his eyebrow. "Mighty Sasuke? Where did you get the idea of that from?"

   "I get that impression all the time." Naruto nodded at himself, but later shook his head rapidly and pointed at the Uchiha. "Hey you TRICKED me! Don't change the subject!"

   "I was only asking a question, Naruto. Besides, it's not like that little brain of yours can think of anything logical."

   "Try me." He growled.

   Sasuke hesitated for a moment before giving in, and motioned his hand for him to come nearer. Naruto's eye twitched when he heard the words Sasuke whispered into his mouth, and a while later his face contorted into a wide smile as he laughed out loud and clutched onto his stomach desperately.

   "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh for the love of the friggin' Hokage!! Are you serious?!"

   "Be QUIET you ass! Someone might hear!! Yes I'm serious and would you please stop laughing like that, it's not funny at all!"

   "Okay, okay! Geez I'm sorry!" Naruto managed to calm himself down. "No wonder you said all those things back on the bridge. Hey wait, that means-" Naruto widened his eyes, "You LIKE Sak-"

   Sasuke quickly covered Naruto's mouth as the blond struggled. "Do _not_ ask me that question. Those words just came out of my mouth before I can stop it."

   Naruto shook his hands away. "Fine I won't. But you should tell her."

   "Tell her what?"

   "That you can't lie."

   "WHAT!" Sasuke stared at him like he was crazy. "No! No! And for the third and the fourth and the fifth time NO!!"

   "Why the hell not?!"

   "Because when she asks me things I'll have to answer her with the exact truths. That's just plain insane."

   "So?"

   "What do you mean so?"

   "I mean… so??"

   Sasuke sighed and put a hand through his black hair. "She cannot know what I think."

   Naruto stared at him, confusion etched all over his face. He hit his fist against his palm when an idea popped out. "Now that you can't lie… I'll have to ask you some questions."

   Sasuke had a feeling that this wouldn't be pretty.

   "Remember the other day when I asked you for-"

   Sasuke's eyes went large. "Yes I DO remember! Well I _did_ have money with me but I was running short and knowing you, you'll probably just loose it somewhere. What I'm trying to say here is that money shouldn't be wasted!" he blurted.

   Naruto stood there dumb folded. "_What_?"

   "… Aren't you going to ask that day when you asked me for some change?"

   "NO! But now I do know why you kept on reminding me how broke you are that day!! You JERK!"

   "Don't call me a jerk you insensitive idiot!"

   "That's not the point! I want to ask questions dammit!"

   "No one's stopping you!"

   "Listen up carefully Sasuke, because this is something really important." Naruto spoke cautiously. Sasuke raised his eyebrow, wondering what was on his mind, he sounded so serious.

   "How do I look?"

   "Around twelve."

   "How do I fight?"

   "You're getting stronger, which is bothering me greatly because I'm supposed to be the strongest."

   "Am I smart?"

   Sasuke stared at him with a funny expression, when he opened his mouth to speak Naruto cut him off.

   "No don't answer that. Hmmm why do you always wear dark colors?"

   "Dark colors rock man! And it makes my eyes look good."

   Naruto stared at him in disbelief. "Do you… do you think you're handsome?"

   "Hell yeah! ERK-" Sasuke covered his mouth. Naruto laughed.

   "Are you gay?"

   "NO!"

   "Wow really? I used to think you are gay because you never get interested in girls."

   "That's because all of them are so whiny! I hate those high-pitched, squeaky screams that just yell at me 'Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun!' all day! They're absolutely pointless and annoying."

   "I totally agree with you. Hmmm what do you think of Sakura-chan?"

   "Well, she's the brightest person I've ever known, and she has a great sense of responsibility-"

   "Chill! I mean PHYSICALLY you twit!"

   "Her eyes, and her rack, don't forget about that ass too, and that tiny waist, plus she smells nice- HOLY SHIT I can't believe you just asked me that!"

   "Sasuke, are you aware it's disturbing for me to find out you smell people?"

   "No."

   "No what?"

   "No I don't know that I disturb you."

   "You don't have to answer that."

   "But you asked me!"

   "No I didn't!"

   "Yes you did!"

   "No I didn't!"

   "YES you did!"

   'When?!"

   "Right after you said 'physically you twit!' then I said 'her eyes, and her rack, don't forget about that ass too, and that tiny waist, plus she smells nice- holy shit I can't believe you just asked me that' then you said 'Sasuke, are you aware it's disturbing…"

   "WHOA stop!! Rewind, and let's cool down… you are saying WAY too much words!" Naruto said.

   "You asked me, all right?! It's not like I want to answer!"

   "Dammit! What are you planning to do?!"

   "I'll become a hermit."

   "Face the truth man, you're already one."

   Sasuke glared. Somehow he felt that this was going to be a long, suffering, and intolerable time of the year… all because of that Fairy Itachi. His brother for kami-sama's sake!! He swore, if he ever saw him again he would-

   "Hey Sasuke are you sure you're not bisexual?"

   "WHY DO YOU KEEP ON ASKING THAT?!"

**All right, this chapter sucked. I hate it - __-+ Some reviewers asked me if Sasuke likes Sakura… haha you'll know in the future chapters ^_~ do you people want it Sasusaku? I personally don't mind…**

**Do you see the button below that reads 'submit review: go'?**

**It looks a bit enticing, doesn't it? ^___^**


	3. It's the Asshole!

**Mind of the Uchiha**

By Vitreux

**Standard disclaimers apply, author's notes at the end.**

**Warning: A lot of cuss words in this chapter! Once again Sasuke OOCness!**

**Chapter Three**

It's the Asshole!

* * *

"Are you just going to avoid Sakura and do nothing, I mean like no explanations at all?" Naruto rushed beside Sasuke through the busy street, bumping people on his way every once in a while.

"What else can I do?" Sasuke huffed and kept on walking.

"You could- HEY watch that!" Naruto yelled at a man who accidentally stepped on his feet. "Those slippers are EXPENSIVE you know!"

"Well so are mine! You know!" The man laughed loudly and walked away.

"What a jerk! Kind of reminds me of you, Saskue, heheh."

Sasuke glared.

"Not funny? Oh well okay."

Sasuke grunted and shoved his hands in his pockets. It was a nice day in the village; the sun was high shining its rays down giving Sasuke a terrible headache, at the same time a stupid yellow-haired boy was talking to himself from beside… things just couldn't get any better.

"Okay, why are you following me?"

"I'm not following you, I'm walking beside you!"

"Why are you walking beside me?"

"It's a man's freedom to walk anywhere he likes!" he remarked.

"Well, it's a crime to disturb people's peace and harmony. And guess what, you're disturbing me." Sasuke was about to turn his head away from him when he bumped into something for the second time that day.

"Shit! Watch where you're going freak!" He cursed and suddenly came face-to-face with an eyebrow raised ninja.

"My, hasn't your vocabulary grown…" Neiji commented.

"Oh no! It's the asshole!" Sasuke blurted. Neiji cocked his eyebrow even more.

"Is there any possibility on earth that hell might freeze over, money might fall from the sky or there are actually black orbs in your eyes, and you could cut that long gay hair of yours?"

Neiji stared at Sasuke in complete silence. "What has gotten over him?" he asked Naruto, the blond boy could only chuckle nervously.

"Yes I'm talking to you, what the hell are you doing here ruining my life?" asked Sasuke.

"It's none of your damn business."

Sasuke's eye twitched. "Listen you piece of shit, like it or not you just disturbed my peace, I'm not in the best mood today, and your sorry ass chose that moment to bump into me, you don't mess with me now."

"What an extremely important piece of information, Uchiha."

"I hope I don't have to say it twice you little bitch."

"Amusing, where did the I'm-so-cool-I-don't-talk attitude of yours go?"

"Hey! I heard something similar like that before!" Naruto shouted.

"SHUT UP!" Sasuke and Neiji growled in unison.

"Hey, hey! Isn't this Naruto, Sasuke and… Neiji?" Rock Lee's voice interrupted them unexpectedly. "Did I miss something here?"

"Oh great, here comes the burning man."

"Burning man?" Rock Lee asked in utter disbelief. "That was actually the nicest comment I've ever heard! WOW thanks a LOT Sasuke! You're a man that burns, too!"

"Try stating me as the same level as you again and I will cut your tongue out."

"You people are making a scene," Neiji hissed.

"Sasuke I didn't know you talk this much." Rock Lee said.

"And I didn't know why your eyebrows are getting thicker everyday!" Sasuke scowled.

"Oh I remember it now!" Naruto whammed his fist on his palm, "I made the I'm-the-mighty-Sasuke comment myself just before! No wonder it sounds similar! God I'm a genius." Everyone stared at him in incredulity.

"Youth Naruto! This is YOUTH!" Rock Lee slapped him on the shoulder perhaps a little bit too hard.

Sasuke fought back the urge to slit their throats when TenTen ran toward them, skidded into a halt when she saw the expressions they had on their faces. "Did I miss something-"

"DO NOT ASK THAT QUESTION!"

"Geez, sorry!" Tenten turned to her teammates before looking at Sasuke weirdly and placed her hands on either side of her waist. "Gai-sensei was looking for us, we've got some training to do."

"Training!" They could see flames blazing in Rock Lee's eyes.

_ Thank God they're leaving!_ Sasuke cheered, "YES!"

Four pair of eyes widened at his outburst.

"Umm, not you Sasuke."

"I know that!"

Neiji smirked at him tauntingly, "I didn't know you had a Rock Lee inside of you."

"Fuck you," answered Sasuke, Neiji didn't bother to give him another stare and walked away.

"Whew, that was close isn't it?" Naruto heaved a loud sigh. Sasuke's fist trembled but he decided to keep silent. Stepping away from Naruto he wordlessly strolled to a place where there weren't much people, he needed to be alone.

"Hey where are you going?"

"Don't you dare follow me!" he spat and continued on walking. A few minutes later he reached the outer rim of the village and found a place to sit down. He cursed his brother-_the fairy_ for the fiftieth time that day. His frown deepened when he heard ruffles from behind.

"Naruto I told you if you dare to follow me-" he paused halfway when he found out the person who made the noises was not Naruto at all.

"I have some questions for you, Sasuke."

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sasuke's voice came out as a strangled whisper.

* * *

**I'M NOT DEAD!**


End file.
